All posts by Katie Jane Gallagher

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About Katie Jane Gallagher

Author of the Beauty and Her Alien series and Specter.

Loveless in Connecticut: One Girl’s Quest for Good Romance Writing

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As a rule, I don’t read romance. The closest I get is your standard slow burn secondary plot device, and, of course, the dreaded, unwanted YA love triangle. I do have vague memories of reading a few Harlequin Teen books when I was a young teenager, as well as flipping through a lengthy romance novel set in Hawaii on a quest to root out the sex scenes, but all that was more than fifteen years ago. Yet here’s the thing: romance sells like hot cakes, my closest writer friends all write romance, and I just want to know what the fuss is about. Some of my favorite books have strong romantic threads, so surely if I dive into the genre, I can find something for me–right?

I asked a friend for recommendations, and she lent me a couple books by Johanna Lindsey. I started off with You Belong to Me, because it has a snowy estate on the cover and we’re close to Christmas-time right now.

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Yup, that was my legitimate thought process. Yet I’m on page 173, and the book just feels so dated. We’re POV switching, and the third POV isn’t at all close–a major pet peeve of mine. There’s loads of telling and not enough showing, and for a book with lusty counts and kings and betrothals, these characters feel utterly modern.

Anna’s eyes flared. She could have hit him at that moment, something she would never in her life have considered doing–until now. “Dammit, Constantin, get to the heart of it before you drive me mad!”

So here’s what I’m going to do. Maybe I’ll finish the Johanna Lindsey book, maybe not, but I want to try an experiment. I found an article purporting to list the ten best romance novels, and I’m going to take a peek through the first page or two of each of them on Amazon, just like an agent would skim through the query sludge for that golden nugget. Yet there’s a bit more at stake here than having to force my way through some potentially cringey first pages. As per my husband’s excellent suggestion, I’ve decided to read the entire text of one of the best and one of the worst, as a way to give a couple of these books a truly fair shake and gain a better understanding of the juggernaut that is the romance genre.

Here’s my Christmas romance wishlist:

  1. First POV or close third
  2. Show, don’t tell
  3. Just a touch of corny–legitimately witty repartee that is situationally appropriate is very much preferred
  4. If it’s a period piece, the writing and dialogue need to fit the setting. (Not looking for thees and thous necessarily, but definitely don’t want the characters to feel like they’re time travelers from 1995.)

So, prepare for a lengthy post. And here… we… go.

1. Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie

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Once upon a time, Minerva Dobbs thought as she stood in the middle of a loud yuppie bar, the world was full of good men. She looked into the handsome face of the man she’d planned on taking to her sister’s wedding and thought, Those days are gone.

So we start off in the very first sentence of the book by breaking Rule #1–not pleased. The MC’s inner thoughts are alarmingly reminiscent of the I Dreamed a Dream lyrics from Les Misérables. Two paragraphs later we hear how “Min” wants to shove a swizzle stick through the handsome man’s heart–corny. I’m going to move along.

2. This Heart of Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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  • Is the author’s advance funded by brand deals? There are more brands in the first 250 words than in a Haruki Murakami novel: Ferrari, Lexus, Comme de Garçons, Prada, Volkswagon.
  • Chicago’s football team is now called the Stars?? What is happening…?

“Oh, you pesky quarterback,” she muttered under her breath. “Someone needs to castrate you.”

Oh, isn’t joking about genital mutilation just hilarious and so, so romantical? On to the next.

3. Gallaghers of Ardmore Trilogy by Nora Roberts

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I’m going to focus only on Jewels of the Sun here. Going to be honest–I have really high expectations, not only because this is Nora Freaking Roberts, who makes a bazillion dollars a year so she must be decent, but also because I’m a Gallagher, so I’ll be disappointed if this sucks.

… time passes …

All right, so she is definitely a better writer than the last two. The writing style doesn’t really appeal to me–too much internal thought, not enough initial action. We start the scene in the character’s head as she psychoanalyzes herself; truly it feels like the reader is floating in space as the character thinks, since there is no scene or action being described. But I can see why people would like this… It’s just not pulling me in.

4. A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux

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This one is starting off strong! The third POV still isn’t close enough for my taste, but it is more thoughtfully done compared to some of the other books here. The author has a good voice, the details are interesting and fitting, and I’m even intrigued by the prologue, which was mercifully short, as a prologue should be. I read the four pages allowed me by Amazon before the preview text skips ahead. This might be an author to come back to.

Hurrah!

5.  Nine Rules To Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean

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Awesome title. I really hope this one is good.

Some nice historical details here that feel fitting. I had to look up “cheroot,” and I’m still not 100% sure what the author means by “ton“–the stylish, aristocratic crowd the MC hangs out with, I’m assuming by the context.

“I never should have allowed my mother to pour me into this monstrosity,” she muttered to herself, looking down at the gown in question, at its too-tight waistline and its too-small bodice, unable to contain her breasts, which were a good deal larger than fashion dictated.

No issue with the focus on the boobage–I’m just not buying the dialogue. Nobody would talk to themselves like that aloud, even young English women in 1813. The third POV isn’t close enough. (My, how that’s becoming an oft-repeated refrain ’round these parts.) Moving on, regrettably.

6. The Duchess by Jude Deveraux

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Excited for this one, based on the other Deveraux book above.

Okay, this author once again really seems to know what she is doing! There is some POV switching, which is always alarming to me, but at least it seems to be kept to a minimum. I wonder if that will change when the main love interest is introduced. I may be picking up this book or the other at the end of this experiment for a full read-through.

7. Whitehorn Woods by Maeve Binchy

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Interested to see the tone of this book, since the article I’m getting these book recommendations from mentioned that this is technically not romance.

And… having now read about eight pages and then the blurb, this does really seem to be more literary fiction. Maybe it sorta qualifies as romance according to the woman who put together the list, but it’s not what I set out to read in the interests of this experiment, so on to number eight.

8. Three Nights of Sin by Anne Mallory

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Look at that bodice-ripper cover. And still, still my husband was astonished when he first learned that much of romance is porn in book form.

Oh. Oh, finally. Here’s an author who knows how to write, who has a contemporary voice that still fits the early 1800s setting. Third POV is close and done artfully. There’s a style here, but it’s not so heavy that it takes away from us moving forward. I’d say the voice will feel very familiar to those who enjoy YA fantasy. The dialogue feels anchored and real…

His head tipped. “Surely Rookwood explained how I work. I rarely accept charity cases from members of the ton.”

Again, what is this “ton” thing? I have to say I did not expect I’d be encountering so much new vocabulary in this experiment!

Anyway, I’ll go ahead and put Anne Mallory squarely on my TBR list. At last, here’s a voice that seems like it won’t quash the romantic elements.

9. Caressa’s Knees by Annabel Joseph

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Not the sexiest title I’ve ever heard. Knees? Also Caressa is such a strange name. I’m squinting at my computer right now, imagining someone with a caressing-the-knee fetish… That can’t possibly be what this is about–can it? Or, perhaps, about someone who spends a lot of time on their knees, in the pursuit of sexual pleasures?

Okay, let’s get to it. We start in media res, which is generally preferable to me than internal monologue. Aside from the Binchy non-romance up above and the brief prologue in the first Deveraux book, this is the only one of the bunch so far that has started with a male MC–interesting! The author has a good voice, and the characters featured in the first couple pages feel solidly real. I’m not connecting with the novel yet, but that’s a me thing, not a Caressa’s Knees thing. Still intrigued to know what the deal is with the title, but it’s not enough to grab me–I’m going to skip to #10.

10. Wild Card by Lora Leigh

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I did end up reading the blurb before jumping in, and the premise of the book sounds unique.

And we’re starting with another male MC! The opening tone is very interesting–almost middle-grade, which does fit with the MC’s age. I assume we’re going to flash forward in time once we’re out of the prologue.

Oh my goodness, we have a second prologue. Bold move–I thought only Brandon Sanderson was allowed to do that. The tone of this book is really nice–that playful, semi-corny romance tone but nothing over-the-top. The combination of the premise and the voice might make me pick this one back up later.

And we’re done. Now comes the tough part. As promised above, I will read two books on this list: the one I least connected with and the one I most want to read. Hopefully, this will assuage the ire of anyone who assumes I wrote this post merely to shit on romance. I am really trying, people–I just honestly think I haven’t found my romance peeps yet.

My best pick: The Duchess by Jude Deveraux.

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I loved the tone and pacing of the opening few pages. I’ve thought about this book off and on in the few days I’ve been writing this post. There was a tiny bit of head-hopping, but maybe that’s just a no-no specific to the genres I’m familiar with that doesn’t apply to romance. I’ll be anticipating reading this book.

My most unwilling pick: This Heart of Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.

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I mean, how bad can it possibly be? Look at that cover–it radiates romance, so maybe I just need to lose my Grinch-like attitude. I’ll make sure to give a final critique.

I’m glad that I conducted this experiment. Reading the opening couple paragraphs or pages of a book and writing up a blog post about my opinions might seem harsh, but aside from the cover, isn’t that how most of us judge books when we pick them up in the bookstore? Those opening pages are key–as an author, that’s your chance to woo your audience, so you’d better make ’em count.

Anyway, I’ll keep you guys updated on my romance genre forays. Stay tuned for some end-of-the-year lists, and have a very merry Christmas, everybody.

Red Scarf Girl by Ji-li Jiang

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“Life is stranger than fiction.” Reading this unassuming-looking middle-grade book from 1999 really displays the truth of that statement. The Hunger Games, Divergent–none of these modern popular dystopian works come even close to the impact of Ji-li Jiang’s Red Scarf Girl. As Ji-li takes us through her life during the start of China’s Cultural Revolution, the fabric of Chinese society crumbles day by day. Heartbreak and destruction are constant, as homes are ransacked, the elderly are beaten in the streets, and children are coerced into denouncing their parents, all in the name of a poisonous left-wing ideology.

The parallels to the political issues the modern world faces are undeniable and scary. The struggle sessions, where the ideologically possessed pile insults and accusations on supposed counterrevolutionaries, are just a few ticks up from a Twitter mob. Readers watch on as poor Ji-li struggles to come to terms with her grandfather’s class status as a landlord, whom she never even met. Yet his status has left a black mark on her family background, meaning that Ji-li has unrenounceable privilege which haunts her at every turn. Does any of this sound eerily familiar?

This is not a book with lush descriptions; it reads as a bit older, though not dated, and the verbiage is very straightforward. Though the language used is pretty plain, I remember reading this book as a kid and not really getting it. Why was Ji-li being pressured to write ugly lies about her teachers and post them around the school? Why were the grown-ups always holding whispered meetings in the bathroom? If you read this book when you were younger, please give it another go, since I suspect hefty chunks of it will fly over the heads of the target audience. Read as an adult, the message of Ji-li’s memoir is impossible to miss: this is what happens when a government endorses equity and social justice, then elects extreme measures to achieve those impossible goals.

Shallow Graves by Kali Wallace

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This book was a pleasure to read. The opening was especially strong–the author sets the tone and genre straightaway. I loved the sensory details that she picked; this is a book that feels visceral. The action is happening in the moment, without needing to rely on the crutch of a present tense POV.

I will say that the middle started to lag for me as more characters were introduced. It’s pretty apparent that the author intended for this book to be a classic “standalone with series potential.” Rain, Zeke, Jake,  the brownie in the basement–all these characters are interesting, but don’t feel like they necessarily matter to the story. They float through the book, saying witty things and allowing us more details into Wallace’s world-building, but it feels like the real reason they’re present is so that they can be part of book two. More involvement of these characters in the plot would ground them a bit more. Wouldn’t you like to see Zeke and Jake eat their gory dinner at last? Wouldn’t you like to know how Rain’s children actually turn out? It all comes across as seeded details and characters for book two–and according to Wallace’s Goodreads page, book two will unfortunately not be dropping.

Another thing that could use some small tightening up is the use of memory in the book. Don’t get me wrong–I really appreciate the blurriness of the MC’s memories, but I don’t enjoy that we only find out about what really happened to her (being purposely vague to avoid spoilers) at the end of the book. It feels tacked on, since the main action of the book has already concluded. And from a realistic standpoint of how humans interact with memories, the MC would have thought about these difficult memories prior to the point where they’re revealed to the reader. I always want to be as close to the MC as possible, and keeping this information from the reader feels like manipulation by the author.

One last thing. Are normal American names allowed for YA main characters anymore? Breezy is a cool name and all, but I feel like there is some sort of unspoken taboo of using “ordinary” names. Anyone else noticing that?

These little quibbles aside, I really enjoyed Shallow Graves. The description of the author’s other YA book didn’t really snag me, but I’ll be excited to read future books by the author.

Girl at the Grave by Teri Bailey Black

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This was a book that I picked up on a whim, never having heard it hyped. I’ll admit I was mainly drawn in purely by the gorgeous cover and the Connecticut setting. As a Connecticut resident, it’s a weakness of mine: say your book is set here, and I’ll probably read it. Some authors get it right, and some get it wrong. (Dear Morgan Matson: bears are actually extremely common here, to the point that they’re a public annoyance! The more you know~~~)

Anyway, the first hundred or so pages were very strong and an engrossing read. The pacing was appropriately swift, and the two love interests for the obvious love triangle were both interesting choices, where neither one was the apparent slotted winner of the MC’s affection.

The middle lagged, though, due to quite a lot of dialogue exposition. Everyone in the MC’s life is suddenly willing to spill their deepest, darkest secrets to her at the barest prompting–I wish the MC had needed to be a bit more active in forcing these reveals. This in combination with the love triangle makes the MC come across as fairly Mary Sue-ish. She’s beautiful, a valedictorian, and has two boys following her around like puppies. Add on the MC’s focus on women’s rights, which gives her a holier-than-thou feel in relation to the mid-18oos time period, and we get a character who comes across as entirely out of place and time.

I also had mixed feelings about the ending, which featured another onslaught of expository dialogue. The revealed web of secrets and influence was initially fun, but became a bit confusing for me–possibly just a me thing? I can forgive the wobbly ending, if simply because I don’t normally read mysteries and I’m not experienced enough to say what makes a good or bad “big reveal.” What I can say is that the final denouement is surprisingly well done–not too rushed, not too prolonged. All the threads come together, and we’re not left feeling like the author might try to eke out a sequel for some extra bucks. My, how nice it is to read a true stand-alone.

So all in all, I’d say it’s a decent read for anyone who likes YA mysteries, love triangles, or easy-to-read historical fiction. Nothing that I’ll reread, but I don’t regret picking it up.

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

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There’s something about the Twilight series that is such a comfy read–I chalk it up to the incredibly close first POV, plus the relatively small cast of characters and Pacific Northwest setting. Is the writing great? No. Are a lot of the character actions and motivations ridiculous? Yeah. But you know what? It’s an entertaining series that’s just perfect for those times when you need a palate cleanse.

I’m totally on Team Jacob, by the way, which I find hilarious because I avoided this book for so long because I knew it would be the one with the teen werewolf. But Jacob is just genuinely a good guy–especially when compared with Edward’s behavior towards Bella at the end of the book, which essentially amounted to, “I lied to you, and I’ll admit I’m a good liar, but how could you have been so stupid to believe me?!” I know it’s a total meme to discuss Edward’s behavior towards Bella as abusive and creepy due to the age gap, but I do see this now, and it took away from my happiness that they were finally back together.

So here’s hoping that Jacob does find somebody worth his while in the romance department. I haven’t seen the third or fourth movies, and this is my first time reading through the series, so I honestly have no idea how it will turn out.

Quickie Review: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

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Absolutely fantastic–not really any complaints that I can think of. I love Harris’s control over her language, pacing, character voice… pretty much everything. I guess I can point to the revelation of Sam being a shapeshifter as pretty obvious; that could have been seeded in a more subtle way throughout the book. But all in all, this book is well-written, sexy, and utterly compelling.

Review: There’s Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins

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This is probably the cringiest book I’ve read all year. I picked this up due to a glowing mention on Sarah Enni’s First Draft podcast, but man, this did not live up to expectations. The book promises horror, but the first half of the book is extremely lacking in this department, choosing to focus instead on the MC’s romance. Is this why the cover is pink, perhaps? A promise of horror, with a love story nobody wants tangled within?

Here are the main things I struggled with in the book:

  • 3rd person POV that does not feel anchored to the MC. This is especially noticeable in any sections when the MC is hanging out with her friends.
  • Politically progressive details thrown in for brownie points. (Token transgender friend, gamer who regrets all the troll comments he’s sent to women, etc.)
  • A villain who is extremely bland
  • Oodles of tell not show, especially in the ending wrap-up of the killer’s motives
  • MC backstory that is hyped to an alarming degree and kept from the readers until far too deep into the book. The backstory is extremely tame, and the author is clearly trying to craft a trivial and forgivable event into something very dramatic, with the intention of making the MC both interesting, while at the same time protecting the MC from being truly “bad.”
  • Cringey, throwaway details to make us think the killer’s random victims are interesting. (Take especial note of the Tamora Pierce author insert detail on page 266… This was the point when my two-star review got cut in half.)

Let me expand on that last point about throwaway details. For context, Chapter Eleven is from the POV of one of the killer’s soon-to-be victims–a gamer nerd called Rodrigo. The details in this chapter are outright lazy. OF COURSE Rodrigo will pepper his internal monologue with random Spanish. (“If his sisters had heard it, they would have kicked him in the cojones.”) OF COURSE he’ll randomly have a thought about this company of all-female game developers, and how it’s so, so ridiculous that they’re getting crazy flack from the gaming community. (Internal monologue virtue signaling–gag me now.) OF COURSE he’s drinking a Mountain Dew competitor and eating pizza. OF COURSE he’s texting his friends about Linux distros and only anime a thirty-year-old author would have watched. Now NONE of these things would be bad on their own–it’s just that they are so liberally peppered throughout the short chapter that you’re just waiting for the next one. Detail supplants actual character development, leaving everything feeling hollow.

Perhaps you will like it… But I cannot in good faith recommend this book.

Review: The Seven Deadly Sins Sampler from the Great Books Foundation

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Really great collection of short stories, from a wide variety of authors. This is the second book of short stories I’ve read this year, and I have to say I’m sort of craving picking up another soon… I have both an anthology about stories relating to the ocean as well as a Lovecraft short story book on my TBR, so maybe I’ll take a look at one of those in a month or two.

Really there was only one story in here that I didn’t like, which was “The Inherited Clock” by Elizabeth Bowen. The language in the story was completely overblown, and to be honest, I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening. Nor did I want to pick it apart and figure out what Bowen was going for, because of the language… Sort of a vicious circle.

My top picks in here would be “Roman Fever” by Edith Wharton, “Smokers” by Tobias Wolff, and “Mary Postgate” by Rudyard Kipling. That ending in the Kipling story… wow. I was also really happy to finally read a bit of Raymond Carver (“Fat”), who was a great inspiration to one of my top literary loves, Haruki Murakami. (Murakami, by the by, was one of Carver’s Japanese translators.) All of which reminds me that I actually have a short story collection by Carver on my bookshelf too…

Anyway, I really recommend this anthology for anyone who wants to consider the seven deadly sins from a literary angle.

Review: Dig Too Deep by Amy Allgeyer

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This was a good book to read to get me out of a reading slump–short, fast, likable characters, and an interesting premise and setting. I do think that some parts were a bit ham-handed, especially many of the details about the MC’s monetary hardships. One example that springs to mind is when the MC is lamenting how she has to buy tampons, leaving her less money for groceries. These things do happen, of course, but the tone of it felt very much like the author had just read a Vox article about period poverty. The constant comparisons of the MC to her mother also felt very forced, as if the author were yanking readers down a path labeled THIS REALLY MATTERS, instead of laying out the path and guiding us down it gently. Allgeyer should perhaps learn to have a bit more trust in her readers’ abilities to connect the thematic dots.

Overall, though, I did tear through this book. I particularly liked the banter between MC and Granny, as well as MC’s romances with Love Interest 1 and 2. As some other reviewers have mentioned, I had also never heard of mountaintop removal mining–fascinating! I’d like to read more books by this author in the future.

Review: Oracle by David Wood and Sean Ellis

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Oh man, I feel pretty shitty about not liking this book, since it’s from a small press, and I like to be supportive. But after the initial hundred page glow, this just did not resonate with me, not just in a not for me way, but in a this book needs help way.

I’ll admit it: I picked this book up because I love Tomb Raider. I’ve been a serious fan since I was a teeny tot. My family had TR1 loaded on our computer (this was back when there was just ONE FAMILY COMPUTER in the whole house), and everyone would cluster in to watch my dad play the game. Lara Croft was basically my childhood superhero, and I’ve played through almost all the games, some multiple times. My first experience chatting with people online was on a Tomb Raider fan website. All this to say that I’m a Lara Croft fan through and through, and if some piece of media decides to springboard off that rich legacy, I’ll definitely check it out, with the earnest hope that it will live up to the awesomeness that is the Tomb Raider franchise. Case in point: the horror movie As Above, So Below. I went into that movie blind, realized what it was up to within the first five minutes, then spent the rest of the movie grinning maniacally at my computer screen. I’m not the type of person to get mad about “appropriating a franchise.” For me, more is more when it comes to Tomb Raider, so I went into this ready to be wowed.

And maybe you’re thinking, hey, wait, but this book is a Jade Ihara adventure! It says so on the cover, dumbass! Well, you’re not wrong… But look at the picture on that cover. Look at her image, the pose, the background. Then flip to page 31.

“The man flashed a disarming smile and stepped away from the Jeep, extending a hand. ‘And you must be Lara Croft, Tomb Raider.’

‘Wow. Never heard that one before.’ Strike one, thought Jade.”

The authors know EXACTLY what they’re doing, so don’t even start with that argument.

So here’s the ugly: this book needs serious editing. There are many, many, many sentences that are not working, whether that is because of missing words or punctuation, fragments, run-ons, etc. Internal monologue missing italics, so that the reader is sporadically thrown into a first POV. The prose has a “blinding you with detail” feel–lots of tech and science mumbo-jumbo thrown in to sound fancy. I’d really encourage the authors to do some long, hard thinking about how to bring their third POV closer, since the characters feel super distant. Nix all verbs of the head. (“Thought,” “remembered,” “pondered,” etc.) More attention to these details would make the manuscript vastly more readable.

But the more disappointing thing to me was the characterization. The female characters in this book, Jade being principle, are simply not well thought-out. The book promises a badass female archaeologist! Yet we get stuck with Jade, whose main characterization hinges on a past romance from previous books in the series. Normally I’m not one to harp about the Bechdel test, but there is nothing of depth here, save for her inner sadness about this failed relationship with a character not even present in the book. I can’t connect with her; yes, she loves archaeology, but whyyyyyy? And then, perhaps to hide this lack of depth, the authors decided to make her over-the-top snarky–but for seemingly no reason. This is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine, which I find especially prevalent in TV and film writing. (Superhero movies being some of the worst offenders.) You have a weak female character? Cover that shit up with stupid one liners and a hearty dose of bitchiness! It’s lazy writing.

So suffice it to say that I’m mega disappointed by this book, especially since I picked it up looking for something fun and different. I’m a book person who knows a few things about the industry–I know how difficult publishing is, and especially with a smaller, non-traditionally published book, a bad review or two can sink the boat. (Not that I assign my reviews that much weight! Not by far!!!) But I have to stay true to my real opinions, and I cannot recommend this book. 😦